Well, another year of track season has ended. It has been a great season. Actually, it has been a great year. WELL, actually, it has been a great LIFE! There have been some good finishes and some not so wonderful finishes. Chase has conditioned well and maintained a great cardio condition that has enabled him to run the longest of races at each meet. He has had the desire, determination and coaching to help him preform to the best of his ability. And he has.

Last night he ran only one race, the mile. He has ran the mile and a half and the mile in the past, but had asked the coach to only run the mile for this meet, the district meet. There had not been any after school practice this week due to the TAKS test, however, each afternoon after school he went to the LifeCenter and conditioned and then came home to run. He is definitely a self motivator. I would have seen it as a week of Blue Bell and sitting on the sofa. But not Chase. He saw it as a time when he had to pull from deep inside to train for the win.

After all of the preparation he did not finish as well as he had hoped. He finished 10th. There were about 22 runners, so he did well comparatively, but did not do as well as some of his earlier finishes of 6th and 7th. His head hung low as he found me in the stands after the race. I wasn't sure if he was disappointed in himself or feared we would be disappointed in him. When I asked him to reveal his thoughts he was just that, disappointed in himself. He wanted to finish better. He wanted to win. I looked in those wonderful brown eyes, as if looking directly to his soul, and asked him, "Did you do your best?". He quickly and honestly said yes he had done his best. That is when I told him that he can NEVER be disappointed in doing his best. He ran a race to be proud of.In that moment I looked him in the eye it was as if time stood still. In that one little moment as I stared at his soul God showed me once again his miracle. Not that I ever forget what healing took place in Chase, but there are times that I get a renewed vision of that touch.

These are my thoughts that took place in the one moment:

"10th? 10th? Really? I don't think so. For some reason my heart saw you cross the finish line in 1st place. I am not even sure there was anyone around you. You blew everyone else away. You ran with wind beneath your wings. It looked effortless. I can not believe what I saw.....well, actually, maybe, just MAYBE there were 9 that crossed before you. But do you know that I felt so blessed seeing you cross 10th that my heart only saw you? It was as though you were the only one in the race. I felt so blessed that I was even sitting in the stands ABLE to watch you run, much less finish and have a good finish. For almost 15 years ago I did not know if you would even live. AND, if you did live, I had no idea that you would be able to walk, much less run. So dear son, don't be disappointed. I'm sure not. I'm actually in awe."

That is how we are to live our daily lives. There will be others that appear to finish ahead of us. Others that seem to have won. But when we realize the power that is in us through the Holy Spirit and run the race of Life with the finish line in sight, we will not only finish, but finish well...as to not disappoint.I close by saying again....10th? Not really.

I Can't Wait

There are so many privileges I have from being a stay at home mom. First of all, I get to be the last one dressed in the mornings. I also get to sort socks ALL day if desired. If someone gets the virus, I am the one who gets to clean up the puke, but also rock and hold the sick. But my dearest treasures are those little people conversations that I have been able to have with each of my blessings.



Kendall and I have a 2o10 project...to clean and organize her room. It truly may take the whole 12 months. However, we have spent alot of time in there the past week or so. I am continually putting items in the "give away" box and she is finding toys she has been looking soooo hard for and just wondered where they were.



I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit and how he teaches the little ones. He allows God's word to enter their ears and hearts and draws them near to Christ. I am amazed how hard he must work to bury truth and desire for truth into such young lives.



We were in her room tonight and talking about the most important things. Things like, what is my favorite shape of bendaroos, me remembering when she wore a certain outfit, and locating that one favorite book behind the bed. She then asked me a question, "Mom, you know what I can't wait for?" "What's that baby", I replied expecting it to be her birthday or Christmas. "I just can hardly wait for Easter". "Really, I said, why Easter?" "Mom, that is when Jesus rose from the dead after dieing on Friday for all of our sins!"



Wow. When was the last time I truly got excited about the sacrifice of life Christ gave for me? Do I ever long for the day set aside to honor and remember that sacrifice? Have I celebrated the true Easter in my daily walk?



Dear Lord,

Please let me never forget where I was when you died on the cross for my sins. Please never let me forget what I was when you paid the price. I do not ever want to think my forgiveness was cheap. It cost you everything! Precious Lord, may I not only expectantly wait the day set aside as Easter, but may my life celebrate Easter each day. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Who's team am I on afterall

Last weekend, Cade played his first baseball tournament with his new team. He has gotten to know these kids as they have practiced weekly since around the first of February. They all seem to have a super time together. Glenn is one of the assistant coaches and they both are having a tremendous time.

This was not Cade's best tournament. He did not do pitiful, however, it just wasn't one for the record books. It wasn't like the game at the All Starr State Tournament 2 years ago when he got up to bat with 2 on, 2 outs, and we were tied as he hit the winning run in. (I may forget where I put my keys, but always remember my babies fine moments in life) In this tournament he seemed to really struggle at the plate. Some of his difficulties were probably from this being a different kind of baseball than he had played before. He was playing open bases. He had tons of new signs to learn. But after all, it was just a warm up tournament.

On the way to the tournament we had a little pre game meeting in the truck. We told him that it was not the crying was wrong, but that crying really needed to be saved for the big stuff. He was reminded that getting out was something that would just happen....and not to cry. He was reminded that making mistakes would happen...but don't cry. We even told him he might get hurt....but only cry if you are hurt so bad you HAVE to cry. Shake off what you can.

Well during pre game warm ups, the coach called to "hold the balls". Well, Cade heard him but the boy he was throwing with didn't. So just as Cade turns around, WHOP! Right in the center of the forehead! Well....he cried...and rightfully so. He came to the fence with the biggest tears, no noise, just huge tears running down his face. He let out a big sniffle and said, "Mom, this one hurt bad enough to cry". I assured him he was right.

We were in our last game and Cade had struck out 2 of 3 times. The last time he came in the dugout with a Bickerdike attitude. (cause I KNOW it wasn't from the Rays.....:) )He tossed the bat, flipped his helmet and sat to pout. I gently reminded him that I CAN, and WOULD take him out of that dug out....fix that attitude and we would go home. He NEVER EVER EVER gets mad at anyone else's performance, but wow, he is his worst enemy at times.

He pouted for a long while after the game. I let him for a little bit. Then the speech began. "Cade, there will always be someone better than you. There will always be someone worse than you. But you CAN have the best attitude. That is something you have complete control of." I reminded him that being a good athlete isn't all about performance. It is more about the person.

Of course I am tying a spiritual lesson here. I know I took a long road to get here, but hey, it is MY blog. (ha ha) How many times have I pouted because things didn't really turn out the way I wanted? Have I been guilty of making little things big things in my life? What I was reminded of in this situation is that others are watching to see how I respond in those times. What is said of me when I have a tough time, pout and let it all out? I know what is said. The same thing that is said when a mom sees another child act out in the baseball dugout...."somebody needs to get a hold of that kid".

My friend, know this...God WILL get a hold of you. Have a fit and He is likely to just snatch you up and straighten you out. Like I told Cade....there will always be someone doing it better or worse, but YOU can control your attitude. You CAN be the best representative of Christ.

Remember, on the team of Christians....the back of your shirt reads: Jesus Christ. Don't embarrass the uniform.

Knowledge is Knowing

I don't know what type of personality you would say that I am, (be careful) but I am one who has to know all there is to know about something. If we are taking a trip, I research diligently before we leave so to know everything about where we are going. If I am making a new friend, I inquire about their life so as to know who I am becoming friends with. When I am making a decision about something, I gather all of the information available and even interview others concerning what their experience might have been in the same situation. And when it comes to health issues, oh my, I research and research and research.

As I have blogged before about Chase's birth and the issues that surrounded his health let me remind you that I did not have a computer at that time. That was a blessing. For IF I had a computer back then, poor thing, he might have even had the diagnosis of ovarian cancer after I had done my research. Ignorance is blissful sometimes in health situations.

I don't know if I have ever posted that Chase is dyslexic...but he is and I am so thankful! That is one of the qualities God gifted him with that makes him as precious as he truly is. When I first knew that he was dyslexic, my personality kicked into high gear. I began researching like a mad woman. I read EVERYTHING available. I attended workshops and seminars. I evaluated curriculum after curriculum. I spoke with expert after expert and parents of dyslexic children as well as dyslexic people themselves. In all honesty, I became an expert on dyslexia and how it effected my child. I knew exactly what intervention was needed and knew where to get it. I knew how he would learn and how to teach him. All of my energy and waking moments were spent learning all there was to learn. At the risk of sounding prideful, I became somewhat of an expert on dyslexia and rivaled any professional's knowledge.

My Sunday School Class is studying a book titled "The Practice of Godliness". As I have began this study I realize that I should have the desire to practice godliness. I have also come to understand that my desire will follow my seeking and in turn my seeking will lead my desire. Why is it that I don't find myself all consumed with learning Christ's ways? Why do I not feel the passion for seeking godliness that I feel for seeking knowledge of other matters? Why is it that my every breath is not to know God more and understand His ways? I believe I can explain that, at least for me.

There have also been times in my life that I have not wanted to seek information. For instance, when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with ovarian cancer I did start my research. However, there was a point that I drew a line in the sand and said to myself..."I don't want to know anymore." In actuality, the truth about this disease was scary. I didn't like what I was reading. The knowledge I was acquiring was not rosy. Maybe somewhere in my mind I thought that if I didn't KNOW the truth, the truth would not be. You and I both know people with that type of thinking. Thinking that if they don't think about it, it will go away.

I have come to realize that may be the same reason I don't seek God whole heartily. Maybe I seek Him to a point, ....and then draw a line in the sand. Could it be that in knowing God more, I also am revealed as who I really am and I don't like that? As we grow to know God we do becoming more knowledgeable of God. The more He increases, the more I decrease. Is it that the more of the truth I know, the more I may not want to know the truth? I begin to realize that I am so far from the godliness I desire to be that I just quit letting God reveal himself to me.

My prayer, for myself is this: Dear God, thank you for the desire you have placed in me to seek and find answers to hard questions. I pray that you will align those desires so that I will have the same passion to seek you and know you more. Help me continue to want to know you more even when knowledge of you reveals the hard stuff in me. I want my desire to seek you to not be so I can be knowledgeable but that I can know you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The Utility of The Nativity

Isn’t it funny how there are words we use everyday and never really think of what they mean? Let’s take the word utility. True, when someone uses that word you know what it means from the context of how it is used as in utility room. But how often do we think of the individual words and what they mean?
Kendall, now 5, has always been amazed at baby Jesus and what he represents at Christmas. She loves taking all of the Christmas decorations from the attic and helping place them in our home to prepare for Christmas. This year she even instructed each family member as to their job for decorating. But above all, she loves baby Jesus.
As we were getting things in their place she suddenly paused. “Mom, don’t forget the utility scene!” Over the years each of my children have shared their little word mix-ups with me and some I have even jotted some down so I would never forget them. They have all 3 come up with some precious ones. As I heard this one it immediately put a huge smile on my face and a giggle in my heart. “Oh baby, I wouldn’t dare forget that.” (making sure to not correct her cute word fumble)
The rest of the evening and onto the next day I kept playing “utility scene” in my mind. Surely there is a spiritual truth in that innocent statement. That is when I decided to look up the definition of this word I have often used and possibly misused. The Webster’s Dictionary defines the word this way: Utility: n. to use 1) usefulness 2) something useful as to the service of the public 3) a company providing such a service.
All too often we place our nativity scenes in our homes as just that, a scene. When in truth, the nativity scene is meant to be a utility scene. To be a utility scene that is used. To be a scene that represents the truth of Christ’s birth and the hope that He brought to this world as our savior. I would say that it is a scene that is truly “something useful as to the service of the public”. The truth is that it is a “company providing a service”…a service of sacrifice. Christ humbled himself and came to us for usefulness.
I urge you as you place your nativity scene this year to make the scene a utility scene this year. Use it’s message to share God’s love….it was sent to be used.

Brotherly Love

A dear little 14 year old friend posted a great scripture on her facebook yesterday. It was one that we all need reminding of and I know I needed it. Ephesians 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Whew! I also was invited yesterday, via facebook to participate in "30 Days of Thanks". In participating you post in your status, only one post per day, something you are thankful for. 30 days will truly not be enough time, but you get the idea.

We have a little "tradition" of sorts that we do when we sit down for dinner. We play 'best thing/worst thing'. Each person shares their best and worst of the day. However, with the encounters I had earlier in the day, I thought I would put a new twist to our dinner talk game. As I was fixing everyone's plate, I asked that each person would be thinking of 2 things good to say about each family member. That really caused them to change gears. They are not truly mean to each other but they spend a large amount of time aggravating one another and being pests to each other. This caused them to be speechless for a moment.

As we sat down to dinner, I explained how things would go. I would select a family member and we would go around the table and everyone would say something that is good about that person. You would even get the chance to say something about yourself. And it had to be good!

The game began with Chase being the topic. I asked, "Kendall, what is something good about Chase?" She replied in a very innocent voice, "Chase is nice to me." Awww. Glenn's turn was next and he answered with "Chase has a great smile." My turn allowed me to say, "Chase is kind to everyone." Then it was Cade's turn. I sort of knew it might be hard for brothers to come up with something that was not only positive, but nice. Cade sat and thought. He thought and sat. What seemed like hours of waiting was probably only minutes. I finally said, "Ok, Cade. Say something." That is when he raised his head and with all honesty and sincerity he said, "Chase has nice pimples."

With food in mouth we all burst into laughter! Cade said, "It was good. You said I had to say something good and that was good. He does have nice pimples." When I finally gained composure, I agreed. He had said something good. (kinda)

Growing up my sister and I could be very critical. Mother told us one day that we needed to only say something nice about people. She said there was always something nice to say about everyone. That is when my sister decided that when she couldn't find something nice to say, she would just say, "Well, she is clean." It has become a phrase we use alot to each other. I guess, "He has nice pimples" is my children's phrase.

I did remind me of the scripture my little friend had posted. Although Cade's words were not COMPLETELY unkind, they most likely did not build Chase up. I am thinking he wasn't really wanting to have the nicest pimples in town. I also was reminded how thankful I was that my family could sit down together for dinner and laugh and love.

I will always be reminded of brotherly love and nice pimples the next time I encounter someone who is clean.

"There's God"

Today we took 2 cars to church. Glenn had to be there early and that meant me and the three precious children rode together a little later. Sunday mornings in our home have for some really strange reason become a little stressful and it makes me angry. The children push each other's buttons all morning long and in turn my button gets pushed. It continues in the car.

So we are going down the road with someone getting on someone's nerves and the others making sure they are heard ....translated being really loud. When out of the blue and completely out of context Kendall says, "There's God". I drove a few more feet and replayed her words in my mind trying to figure out where that came from or if that was really what she said. I asked her what she said and she told me "There's God". I asked her why and she said, "'Cause that tree reminded me of God". hummmmmm......

In the midst of caos, confusion and even fussing God is there. Sometimes we need to interrupt ourself and see Him. Now we might turn back to our caos, but at least we remind ourself that He's there. (here)