Thank you God for Shin Splints- Part 5

So, I finally got to go be with Chase on Saturday. Glenn has tried to prepare me for what I would see when I got there. He had described the NICU, the drs., the nurses, and even described how Chase looked. He had told me that as bad as things were, that there were still people in that NICU that would change places with us. I found that VERY hard to believe. Heck, if someone was wanting to change places with me, I was up for the exchange. Things were pretty stinky for me.



When I got there, I remember the anxiety that I had. I could not believe that I was going to see MY baby that was literally on his death bed. You had to scrub up when you entered the NICU and I remember thinking....wow....he must really be sick as I stood at the sink. I walked over to his little bed and there he was. He was pitiful looking. He had retained so much fluid that his little body was so swollen. There were machines and monitors everywhere. There were beeps and buzzers all the time. His little body actually vibrated from the oscillating vent. He was yellow. We were still not supposed to stimulate him but how he was stimulating my heart was unbelievable. I seemed to hold it together very well. I was gathering information on his status from the nurse that sat at his side continually. Anyone who knows me knows that I have to know everything concerning health care....especially about my children. It came time for our visit to be over for another 4 hours, and I never dreamed I could walk away from Chase yet again.



I did really well holding it together. I came out and gave a wonderful detailed report of his condition. I spoke to everyone that was there for us. And then I fell completely apart. How in the world was this happening? This must be someone else's life that I have been transported into. I was balling unlike I had done. There was nothing I could do to make Chase better. There was nothing I could offer to make him well. It was literally in the hands of the Great Physician....and I was a spectator to His work.

If you have ever seen the movie Ground Hog Day, you know it is a movie about a guy doing the very same thing at the very same time day after day after day. We were living this out. I went down to the NICU to pump every 2 hours, came back up to our complimentary room, we went back down in 2 more hours for a visit, and back up to our room, over and over again for 11 days! We never turned on the TV, we did not read a newspaper, we literally only prayed and visited with friends. Even when we were visiting with friends, we were praying. We lived out what Paul spoke of in praying without ceasing. In fact, we did not even leave the building for 8 days.

One morning we were going down for our 8am visit on the 5th day. We sat our alarm JUST IN CASE we were to fall asleep for real we knew we would not get up. As we entered the NICU we noticed a group of people around Chase. There was his dr., nurses, and pulmonary therapists. We went over to the sink to wash and prep. The whole time with our eyes frozen to the area of attention. What could have happened? What is going on? We had seen this sight before when 2 twins had died. We were paralyzed in fear.

Glenn finished first and didn't wait on me. I think I might have been subconsciously stalling. As Glenn was walking toward Chase's bed the dr. met him. He said, "We just took Chase off of the osculating vent and placed him on a regular vent. I think he will do fine, but just know that he might have to return to the old vent again and this is normal." Glenn just started crying. With no sleep for over 5 days you tend to be very emotional anyway, but he was truly weeping. He shared with me the news and of course I was elated. Then he said, "Karen, before we came down this morning I asked God to please let Chase come off of the osculating vent. Then when we walked in that is what was happening. God answered my specific prayer!" I think that was the moment I knew, as bad as things were, as bad as they might get, it was all gonna be ok. Oh, and by the way, Chase never had to go back on the osculating vent. (to be continued)